Well you read it right.
I’m tired of being the best. Tired of being the greatest. Tired of being excellent. Tired of doing things perfectly.
But with that, I’m not saying that it’s bad to be excellent at things. It’s good actuallty to have standards and great goals in life to achieve. To be the best there is can be one of many people’s goals.
I had that moment in school before when there was a competition on a project about a short film or videowork, I was so hyped up for it that I pulled tons of all nighters for it. Eventually I got gold. I had high remarks for it. I was happy too.
Tired but happy.
If this was the case, why do I say this statement? Why am I so upset being tired of being excellent? I’m almost sick of standards that choke me and grabs my life and what’s left of it. It doesn’t feel good. That isn’t good.
It came to me that there was a time that excellency, being perfect, doing my best, was just a goal to catch. And you know, doing something and enjoying it compared to doing something for the sake of doing isn’t life giving at all. It drains you. It leaves you empty. What’s supposed to be joy, laughter, excitement, surprise then turns to grief, despair, anger, sorrow, pain.
As you force yourself through deadlines and through standards, you don’t live anymore. It’s like eating without really enjoying the food your eating. Imagine yourself in a restaurant with good food but besides that, you haven’t eaten for hours. Would you enjoy the food that you’ll eat or gobble it up out of hunger. Most likely the latter part. It happened to me just recently on one of our family road trips. Munch it down like cookie monster and his jar of cookies.
What is it that you hunger that deprives the joys of doing work?
Is it that hunger for fame? For an applause? For you to be proud that you are the best among the rest? For your pride? For a God that doesn’t deserve mediocre stuff?
And now I ask,
How’s your relationships?
As you did your work did people around you recoginze you as a friend or for the work you do? Who are you to them? A brother/sister who’ll be at their side or someone who’ll look down on them if they do something not reaching your standards?
Come on. You know God values love more than anything else. How does love fit in that equation of doing all that great work with no room for mistakes?
I’m tired of this.
I’m tired of ruined relationships because of unattainable goals.
I’m tired of having work be more important than our friendship.
I’m tired of setting aside love for God, love for Others, or love for Self for the sake of goals.
Goals should be for the love of those three. Not drag them down.
Please work and play. Don’t force work if it isn’t necessary. And do know that making mistakes is very much okay. If you make a mistake or if you didn’t reach a standard, then just rise up and do it again, not making that same mistake all over again. But do take note that if it’s just you and your goals, all of these “pushing to the limit” stuff is fine. Otherwise if you’re leading a team, its best that you gauge you and your team’s strenghts before entering the battlefield or ergo before you guys do such work. Know what you can and what you could not. Like deadlines, skills, and manpower, and other stuff. And please, learn to say no.
Relationships matter dear friend. Please for the sake of friendship more than our deadlines, value relationship.
It’s a bit of a balancing act once you’re aware of it.
Believe. You can do it.
RM Cristobal is behind the blog RM Wanders. He's a multimedia artist and a blogger/vlogger. A guy who loves to travel, eat, teach, and use media to live and love for the Glory of God. Connect with him through the social media links!